Another New Housewife

Atlanta has come and gone, and the original Orange County ladies have returned.

To sum things up, Gretchen is now dating Joe's old flame Slade. Remember Joe from the original season, she headed off to L.A. to become a singer? Golly, wonder how that's going. So now Gretchen has finally picked up the pieces from the death of her fiancee a few months prior to being with Slade. They might even be living together, I'm not sure. This is Slade's third encounter with a housewife, but at least he has a hot one now. I'm sure he'd prefer his own show, but until then - housewives watch out!

Tamra and Vicki are still besties, but Tamra HATES Gretchen. Tamra believes that Gretchen was never in a real relationship with the old man, Jeff, and thus thinks Gretchen is a terrible person. Now, I never believed Gretchen was with Jeff either, but I don't hate her. She sure does wear a lot of makeup though. Gretchen also had some racy pictures of herself uploaded onto the old Interweb, and in one of them she is playing with a vibrator with a cord. Tamra was appalled by anyone using a vibrator with a cord! So Lynn had a party for her "cuff" thingies and Gretchen and Tamra got into it rather hardcore. A little bit of drama is always fun.

Jeana has decided she can't take the bickering and drama and is leaving the show. She is apparently better than all the rest of them, and let's just say she won't be missed. She has one last meal with her three kids and sits and beams at them as they make dumb remarks about not wanting to work. Her daughter is wearing so much eyeliner her eyes might as well be closed. Filling in for Jeana is Alexis, who I love to hate already. Click the link and see how pretty! Alexis is in great shape and likes to strut her stuff in tiny outfits. However, trying on lingerie in front of others is a no-no according to her hubby. Bikinis are fine though! Ms. Alexis has three children, and the stay at home mom has two nannies. Two of them! One of them travels so when they go to a friend's house her hubby can hand one of them off to the nanny and grab a beer. Thank heavens for help otherwise he might have to figure out their names. In their family, God comes first, then marriage then kids. I will be shocked if they ever actually attend church.

Tamra is already jealous of Alexis's rocking bod and all the money she can spend thanks to her husband being a "successful businessman," whatever that means. Gretchen and Alexis when to work out together, and Alexis revealed that she works out about 3 hours a day - now I see why she needs a nanny. But two of them?

It's rather refreshing to have a new face in the crowd, because to be honest the other ladies are getting a bit crabby and old. The whole point of the show is to watch frivolous "ladies who lunch" spend money on ridiculous things because I have to count my pennies before ordering a veggie sandwich at Subway. Literally everyone on the show is moving to a new house and unable to spend money and have fun, except Vicki who won't splurge on dumb things (which is why she still has money I would guess) Why on Earth would I want to watch that? Maybe if Gretchen sold her harley she could have some spare change - or, I don't know, get a JOB.

My advice to Bravo is to get some more idotic hotty blondes and have them buy a whole bunch of crap I can't afford and drink wine. Then hire me as a consultant.