Kelly Still Sucks

I spent so much time saddened by Bethanney's change, that I wasn't as bothered by Kelly's antics. But here we are a few episodes in and I'm reminded that she is a complete and utter nutjob.

First off, she has decided that killing innocent animals is a great way to get back at Bethanney, who did a nude photo shoot for PETA. Now, I had no idea that Bethanney gave a rat's ass about animals, though she does have a cute-as-hell doggie. Regardless, she was happy to get on a skyscraper and drop trow so that she could get more publicity. Obviously really pissed off that no one from PETA called her to get naked, Kelly decided to go on a fur shopping spree. Then, she informed the audience that she's not abusing animals, she just likes fur. Rest assured all you fur lovers, no animals are harmed in the making of fur. I never knew that before, thank you for educating me, Kelly.

Somehow, Kelly has glommed on to the LuAnn and Jill weirdness. Every time the three get together, it's clear Jill and LuAnn have no idea what Kelly is saying, but it's nice to have a famous-ish friend who is sort of pretty to hang around with. Kelly has been asked to do a photo spread for Playboy for their 40th anniversary, or perhaps its their 100th or who knows why the hell. She's on TV and she's willing to get nekked, especially because Bethanny did it first. She has all these weird explanations as to why, but if you look at the cover (which is horrible by the way) it's clear there is no specific reason why she's on there.

Jill pretended to be happy for her new bestie, but then proceeded to talk about her being her back because she has kids. LuAnn was sort of jealous no one asked her to do it. I'm sure if you really want to pose naked then someone will be willing to let you, so relax everyone.

The best part was when Kelly told her daughters about what she would be doing. I don't know if they skipped over the actual explanation or what. It's great to see how Kelly talks to her kids in the first place, since she's basically a child, it's like she is talking to her 12-year-old friends as they sip milkshakes at some weird fancy diner in a hip locale in New York. One of her daughters spent the whole time telling her it's really embarrassing to have your mom naked, and the other one didn't make a peep. I mean this kid was not happy with the idea of her mom posing, and Kelly laughed and giggled while sipping her own milkshake. Then, Kelly told the camera that her kids act like they don't want her to do it, but really they're excited. No, they're not. They don't want their old-ass mom naked on the cover of Playboy, so maybe you should think about someone other than yourself.

Last, but not least, Kelly likes to make herself feel better by telling everyone else that they are either on a different plane or planet than she is. Last year, Bethanney was on an entirely different level, which she indicated with a simple raise of her hands. However, she seems to have forgotten she did that when speaking with Bethanney, but we all saw it! This season, when Ramona asks Kelly about her bad boob job (sore subject perhaps?), Kelly says that Ramona has gone too far, and remarks to LuAnn that she's not even on the same planet as the rest of them. If that's what makes you feel better, toots, then go ahead and find your own little planet on which to exist - you're halfway there anyway. Yes, it was a rude question for Ramona to ask, but she was a little drunky and she is sort of rude. But Kelly could learn a way to respond to things in a more classy manner, rather than stomping out with her stupid animal-murdering fur vest flapping in the wind.

I can't wait until the Bethanney/Kelly blowout, that will make my week.

Holy Catfight What Happened to Bethanny

I used to love Bethanny. She was one of my all-time favorite overall housewives from any city. She had razor-sharp wit, she got along with everyone, and she had the type of best-friend relationship with Jill that we all long for. Perhaps afternoon naps with a bestie in the same bed is a little odd, but it is nice to have someone to gossip with and know that you always have a plus-one, with or without your hubby/significant other.

Either it's love or fame that has bitten Bethanny's ass, or maybe she's just really hungry, because so far this season I can't stand her. First of all, Bethanny and Jill have parted ways. In the first episode it was sort of vague what had happened, and then it seems clear that Bethanny got a boyfriend and ditched Jill, just like a friend of mine did when she was 13. So tired was B of Jill wanting to hang out and know what's up, she left a message that Ms. Zarin needs to find a hobby - a message that Jill has played for every one of her friends a number of times over.

Okay, so Bethanny and Jill aren't besties anymore, that's fine. Oftentimes when you go from 0 to 60 with a new friend chances are it's too good to be true and it isn't going to last, so that's not her fault, right? Well, it seems Bethanny has been ditching everyone of the housewives since she it seems none of them have seen her since she met her guy. And let's talk about the guy in question, he seems pretty cool and laid back - so what the heck is he doing with the leader of high strung anonymous? It seems that Bethanny likes the guys that are quiet (remember baldy), and it also seems that looks is now a priority.

Upon her first drinks gathering with the Countess, another fight immediately ensues. Who doesn't want to fight with Bethanny these days? First she zips up to the bar in her Skinny Girl VW bug and kisses her man goodbye and makes him zip away in said bug. Is there anywhere these two go on their own? The Countess essentially is mad that Bethanny talked behind her back the entire last season, which she actually did. Rather than merely apologize, Bethanny got all huffy and puffy as she sipped on her skinny whatever, and then referred to Countess as a "dumb drag queen," to the camera. Granted that's hysterical, but so much for agreeing to not talk behind anyone's back. Sidenote, Countess and Jill are now besties, because I guess Jill needs a bestie at all times.

Next up, Bethanny heads over to Ramona's party, the one that Jill and Countess did not attend because Countess is mad at Mario (prounced Mare-io by Jill) for calling her Countless and not apologizing. Another sidenote, Jill and Countess not only don't attend, but they invite Kelly and Alex to come to their new party that they're creating, which is a bit rude since Alex was scheduled to see Ramona. I guess Alex gets her teeth fixed and everyone wants her at their parties. Ramona is pissed when Alex tries to leave, as she sort of should be.

Back to the main point, at Ramona's shin dig everyone tries to express that Jill is a bit upset because Bethanny dropped her like she was hot when she got a rich man. Bethanny wouldn't even acknowledge that perhaps Jill might be hurt. Also, Bethanny realized Alex was coming, and that she had to own up to the fact that she didn't use the Skinny labels Alex designed for her. The only reason this would come up is because Bethanny brought bottles with the label. If B was really worried about not hurting someone's feelings by throwing away all of her hard work, how about telling Alex the moment the decision is made rather than months later because you're forced to.

So in a nutshell, Bethanny now sucks. I won't go so far as to say that she sucks more than Kelly, because that would be impossible. And maybe she'll stop mooning over her guy (who is hot and rich, I'd probably moon, too) and start being a friend to people again. However, in the previews I do see a war that will happen between Kelly and Bethanny that I can't wait to witness.

Another New Housewife

Atlanta has come and gone, and the original Orange County ladies have returned.

To sum things up, Gretchen is now dating Joe's old flame Slade. Remember Joe from the original season, she headed off to L.A. to become a singer? Golly, wonder how that's going. So now Gretchen has finally picked up the pieces from the death of her fiancee a few months prior to being with Slade. They might even be living together, I'm not sure. This is Slade's third encounter with a housewife, but at least he has a hot one now. I'm sure he'd prefer his own show, but until then - housewives watch out!

Tamra and Vicki are still besties, but Tamra HATES Gretchen. Tamra believes that Gretchen was never in a real relationship with the old man, Jeff, and thus thinks Gretchen is a terrible person. Now, I never believed Gretchen was with Jeff either, but I don't hate her. She sure does wear a lot of makeup though. Gretchen also had some racy pictures of herself uploaded onto the old Interweb, and in one of them she is playing with a vibrator with a cord. Tamra was appalled by anyone using a vibrator with a cord! So Lynn had a party for her "cuff" thingies and Gretchen and Tamra got into it rather hardcore. A little bit of drama is always fun.

Jeana has decided she can't take the bickering and drama and is leaving the show. She is apparently better than all the rest of them, and let's just say she won't be missed. She has one last meal with her three kids and sits and beams at them as they make dumb remarks about not wanting to work. Her daughter is wearing so much eyeliner her eyes might as well be closed. Filling in for Jeana is Alexis, who I love to hate already. Click the link and see how pretty! Alexis is in great shape and likes to strut her stuff in tiny outfits. However, trying on lingerie in front of others is a no-no according to her hubby. Bikinis are fine though! Ms. Alexis has three children, and the stay at home mom has two nannies. Two of them! One of them travels so when they go to a friend's house her hubby can hand one of them off to the nanny and grab a beer. Thank heavens for help otherwise he might have to figure out their names. In their family, God comes first, then marriage then kids. I will be shocked if they ever actually attend church.

Tamra is already jealous of Alexis's rocking bod and all the money she can spend thanks to her husband being a "successful businessman," whatever that means. Gretchen and Alexis when to work out together, and Alexis revealed that she works out about 3 hours a day - now I see why she needs a nanny. But two of them?

It's rather refreshing to have a new face in the crowd, because to be honest the other ladies are getting a bit crabby and old. The whole point of the show is to watch frivolous "ladies who lunch" spend money on ridiculous things because I have to count my pennies before ordering a veggie sandwich at Subway. Literally everyone on the show is moving to a new house and unable to spend money and have fun, except Vicki who won't splurge on dumb things (which is why she still has money I would guess) Why on Earth would I want to watch that? Maybe if Gretchen sold her harley she could have some spare change - or, I don't know, get a JOB.

My advice to Bravo is to get some more idotic hotty blondes and have them buy a whole bunch of crap I can't afford and drink wine. Then hire me as a consultant.

I Like Kandi

At the start of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, I didn't really like Kandi. I don't know why. Was I a hater like the rest of the gals? Obviously, I wasn't a fan of the way Nene and Kandi don't get along, because Nene is the best. However, Nene took some annoying steps this season, like telling Kim she couldn't sell a record alone rather than saying "I want to be on your record and I'm hurt." Sometimes you need to just man up and tell the truth. Also, though I still love Nene, her desire for attention could make it difficult for us to be besties.

Anyway, this post is about Kandi, so Nene will have to take a seat and let me fall for someone new. The thing about Kandi is that she's actually pretty famous. Sure, I had never heard of her before, and Xscape sounds vaguely familiar, but other peopld know who she is! She hangs with T-Boz like it's no big deal. And, she writes pretty catchy songs. Look at what she did for "Tardy for the Party," I can't get that damn song out of my head. And if it wasn't Kim singing on the track I might even consider downloading the tune, but that doesn't mean Kandi made her sound crappy- quite the opposite. It's about the principal of course.

I have to say Kandi might be better as a writer than a singer, but it's cool she tries to do both. Also, the fact that her name is Kandi (and spelled like it is) made it a little difficult to hop on the train. However, the first moment I though maybe I could like Kandi was when she decided to do her Alter Ego photo shoot in honor of someone in a coma from a drunk driving accident. Then, she was able to build up a frightened Kim and convince her to sing in a recording booth. How does Kim repay Kandi? By not showing up to her first show.

Speaking of Kandi's first show, she did a great job! And now she is being signed to Capitol Records. In fact, Capitol Records was her first meeting and they're dying to have her. For some reason, I was really happy for her when I heard that. Don't get me wrong, if there were to be a need for a Team Kandi or Team Nene proclamation, I wouldn't be waving a Kandi flag. She still has really bad taste in men, which maybe I'm not allowed to speak of because he is no longer with us. And now I see the reunion is being postponed. It's sad, it certainly is, but let's forget that part of it and just note how AJ was not a good match for Kandi. What was it, five kids and four baby mommas? Come on, Kandi, daddy complex or what?

At first, I insulted Kandi a bit for caring what the blogs say, but now I'm here singing her praises. I can't say I'll buy her album, but I wish her the best of luck with everyone else making that purchase. And, though I enjoy seeing her on Real Housewives now, she's just not right for the next season. She's too real to fit in. Not enough drama makes her a tad more boring, but I hope she would see that as a compliment, just like Deshawn.