Montage-Happy Momma's Boys Comes to an End

Phew, it's finally over and I can move on with my life. At least I can move forward to more realistic (?) shows.

Back in St. Thomas, each of the guys gets to go on a romantic date with the chicks that their mothers picked.

Jojo goes first, and since his Mom didn't pick a lady to accompany him, Mrs. B. gets to go on a date with her son. This whole sequence here couldn't be less creepy. Mrs. B. and Jojo go parasailing together, and the whole time Mrs. B. is giggling and laughing like a school girl. Now, I'm sure there was some editing done to make this look worse, but Mrs. B. is clearly overly obsessed with her son. She continually talks about how hot he is and how much she loves him. Jojo is a tad uncomfy, but he certainly loves all the attention from mommy. Mommy couldn't imagine a better date than her son. After parasailing, they have a romantic dinner. Mrs. B. invites Jojo into the ocean, where Jojo and Mindy made out just last episode. He politely declines. Montage of Mrs. B.'s scary behavior and lust over her son.

Now it's time for Rob to hang with Lauren. They do something involving bikinis, and man that girl is skinny. A few more latkes couldn't hurt my girl one bit, so eat darling, eat. They eke out a good time and Lauren even goes in for the smooch. Um, stop the presses please, I have just witnessed an ANTM preview. Apparently the preview is COMING SOON. Sorry, Momma's Boys, I am easily distracted. Where was I? Robby and Lauren enjoy making out, that's about it. Robby starts to see that maybe his mom was right, especially because Lauren like to make out. Robby can't help but have a mini montage in his head about making out with Camilla.

Michael's turn! We save the best for last because we know that Erica is finally going to admit the truth!! The two have a nice date on a fancy boat and there is a clear chemistry between the two. Looking at Erica in a bikini, I can sure see how she is the Penthouse Playmate of the Year. All the while, Erica is getting nervous about the fact that she has to tell him the truth. They each get a massage, and btw I don't see how those things are romantic. I would prefer to enjoy big strong hands on my back either by my man, or on my own. No thanks on the couples massage. So while they're getting massages, Erica has a montage obsessing about how she's going to reveal the truth.

They two dress for dinner and before embarking on a lovely meal, Erica sits Michael down to tell him the truth. First, she starts balling (always a good move). Then finally she tells him that she did nude modeling, and THEN she tells him that she was the 2008 Penthouse Pet of the year. Michael is not happy. He's pissed about the Penthouse thing and the fact that she lied, because she did in fact die. Michael storms out and needs time alone. After the date, Erica is worried about telling Lorraine. Montage of the lovefest between Lorraine and Erica. Erica sits Lorraine down to talk. First, she cries! Then she explains. Lorraine doesn't care. She is so in love with Erica that nothing could make her feel less love for her potential daughter in law.

Now that the show is coming to a close, we learn that the end of the show results in the guys going on a vacation with the girls they pick. That's is all. A VACATION. There is no obligation to pretend to date anyone, you just get to go on a nice vacay and make out. No pressure as far as I can see.

Moms get a chance to tell sons what to do. Esther wants Robby to pick Lauren. Mrs. B. wants Jojo to come home with her because Mindy isn't good enough. Lorraine pleads for Michael to still pick Erica. Michael makes the first funny statement of the show and points out that he is picking between a Penthouse model and a medical student, and his mom wants him to pick the Penthouse model. What a great point. Why the hell doesn't Lorraine care???

Okay, we're all on the beach in our finest duds. Robby goes first and he has decide between Camilla and Lauren. He hems and haws for a second and then picks Lauren. Esther is pleased, Camilla is said. Camilla knows that this pick was for Esther and is convinced Robby will call her.

Michael's turn and he picks Amanda. Erica's secret was too much, so he went with the other girl, despite his mom's wishes. Though, actually, Lorraine didn't dislike Amanda, she just has a girl-crush on Erica. No one is really upset, except for Jeff. At this point Jeff is convinced that the show will go 0-3 on wrong choices.

Cut to Jojo standing in front of Mindy looking pretty boobalicious and his MOM. Is there really any question here? PICK MINDY!! Go to the beach with Mindy and have mad crazy sex and then ditch her afterwards. Why would your mom care if you went on a trip with some chick? It's not really picking someone over her, so get a life and leave your son alone! The fact that Jojo takes more than one second to make this easy choice is telling. Run Mindy, run. Now Mindy decides to speak for about 5 minutes and repeats the same thing over and over. She says that she will never be good enough and doesn't want to go. She also says that if he doesn't stand up to his mother he will never have a real relationship. This might actually strike a chord because finally Jojo says he's going to take a stand and take Mindy! Even though Mindy said about three times she didn't want to go, all of a sudden she smiles and they hug.

First we see Mrs. B. shocked and appalled. She just wants to go home and not talk to anyone. We get some updates through subtitles. Robby went home early alone, so I guess it didn't work out well with momma's pick. We see that Erica took a trip to Florida to visit... Lorraine! I wonder if that was awkward because I'm guessing that Michael still lives there. That's it! No clue if Jojo and Mindy enjoyed themselves, or if Michael had any fun with lame Amanda. I guess we'll just have to wonder forever and ever.

I am so ashamed that I caught every episode of this mess.