I found time to check out this week's episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County. Last week's preview informed me that someone would be leaving the show, and it wasn't hard to predict who it would be. I was naughty and gave the information away in my headline, but the tearful goodbye didn't happen until the end, so I will cover the rest of the show first.
Tamra and her husband Simon are celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary in Napa. What better way to enjoy your anniversary than to invite OCD Vicki and her distant husband, Donn (yes with two d's). Donn and Vicki snip at each other like brother and sister, and at one point Vicki cries in her foie gras because Donn won't give her a hug or even tell her he loves her. At first I thought Vicki was pretty hard on poor old Donn, but now it seems like perhaps he need to lighten up. Vicki's solution? Fawn over Simon! Before attending the fancy meal that came with Vicki's tears, Tamra decided to surprise Simon with her newly purchased lingerie. She also bought him handcuffs, lotion and porn. She couldn't have waited until after dinner to whip out these items? Tamra does have a great body, but she is no Gretchen as we all know. The two did the deed rather fast as Tamra reports, and were able to make it to dinner without being late. The couples go to a fancy dinner place where they can either pick a fixed meal, or order from the menu. However, the whole table has to do the same thing. It took these crazy kids way too much time to decide what to do, or even understand the rules. Even though each course was met with disdain by at least one person at the table, they went for the fixed meal. Heres a hint: If you don't all like the same thing ORDER OFF THE MENU.
Back in the O.C., Jeana is trying to lose weight again. But first, she purchases $8,000 in linens. According to Jeana, some people vacation in Greece, she's going to vacation in her bed. Later, her trainer has an epiphany that Jeana eats her feelings. Wow, where could he have possibly come up with such a novel concept? Jeana's soon to be ex-husband has been making fun of her attempts at exercising for years, they just thought of this? Also, Kara is back from Berkeley, and she's discovered that college kids like to drink. She is also not enjoying her experience because every weekend she visits her boyfriend at UCLA. I'm guessing Jeana is paying for these visits. Not once does anyone think that maybe it'd be a good idea for the princess to TRANSFER to UCLA. I guess then they might accidentally save money, so I can see the problem there. No Shane sightings unfortunately, who is now playing for the Kane County Cougars! Yay! Had I known sooner I would've gone to a game this year. He has appeared once this season, and it looks like he is giving steroids the old college try.
The most fabulous part of the show was, of course, Gretchen - the new housewife. If you haven't been watching, Quinn was kicked to the curb because she's not that interesting. Her religious ways and her lack of shopping skills made her an undesirable addition to the show. Her cougar days were winning, but then she dumped the bleached blonde stud and hung out with the golfer and signed her walking papers right there. She was lurking in the background of a previous episode, but no one (including the camera) paid her any attention. So welcome Golddigger Gretchen. She is a beauty, but she heaps a lot of makeup on a face that has a lot of unidentifiable bumps. From afar she's rockin, from up close not as much. Golddigger Gretchen is engaged to Kenny Loggins (his name I think is really Jeff), who is 54 and has Leukemia. The two had been dating about two months or so when he was diagnosed, which led to an immediate engagement. It's interesting to note that Jeff has been married 5 times. In this episode, the two get to go see the Indy 500 right up front, and Gretchen even gets to ride in a pace car. I guess Jeff got all his loot from building pace cars or something, I'm not quite clear on that. They both commented about how much Jeff likes to have Gretchen on his arm and essentially she is a great accessory, which we already knew. As they drive to the Indy 500, they receive a police escort and fly past the hundreds of cars in a traffic stand still, at this point Gretchen laughs and proclaims "neener, neener, neener" - I thought she was 30, not 12. I think it is rather obvious how I feel about Gretchen. She pretends to love and care for her sick fiancee, who is much older and really hasn't shown any personality. He has, however, shown that he is rich and likes to buy her stuff. She is not the least bit embarrassed by her actions, but it seems she is counting the days till he croaks and she will get her money and can move on to any hot guy she can nab.
The last part of the show is devoted to Laurie, whose face I just don't understand. On the first reunion show she insisted that she has never had plastic surgery, which is like Kim saying that she is 29 - it isn't true and we don't believe you. All the other housewives has noticed Laurie's absence since she married her UBER rich new husband, and she has made no apologies. In this episode she talks about her son Josh and how he is just so troubled. She wishes she could figure out what's wrong with him, but she just can't. She allowed Josh to live in her townhome with his sister whose name escapes me, and he got back into drugs and was arrested for intent to sell heroin. Laurie explains that when she heard this happened she was angry, mortified and embarrassed. No mention of worry for her precious child or what HE might be feeling.
No matter how many times Laurie talks about Josh I feel that she is being fake. She musters up some tears and explains that she wishes she could just DO something! Her husband has more money than G-d, you can do something, you just don't want to. Laurie apologizes to all her fans and says goodbye. The credits after reveal that Laurie has left the show to spend time with her family. BS. Laurie has left the show to spend time with her rich husband and travel wherever he wants to take her. She's been working up to this lifestyle her whole life and now she has it. Half the family doesn't even seem to live with her, so what family is she talking about? Another credit reveals that Josh received 8 months in jail, so clearly she doesn't have to deal with him anymore, and I really think that she is glad. Call me mean and insensitive, but I have never believed that she is doing all she can. Throwing money at your kids does not solve the problem, which none of these women realize.
Next week we meet the NEW housewife! She's a brunette, so Jeana will have competition.
No comments:
Post a Comment